well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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