You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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