mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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