You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
