In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
