Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize