I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize