I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
