If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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