I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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