I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
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We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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