Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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