It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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