also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
True college students do jello shots in the library
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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