Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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