I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
