I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize