I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
