I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize