sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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