Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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