i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Randomize
