she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
