Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize