One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
