He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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