I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
