Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
im holly from the hills drunk
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
