Life is so much better after having sex.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
