And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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