apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I don't deserve a penis
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
