Screwed.edu
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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