i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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