I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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