don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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