he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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