Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize