Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
