Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
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She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
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Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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