By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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