He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
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shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
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