i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
