I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
