I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
