CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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