i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
