And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
