she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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