I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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