I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
