My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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