1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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