I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My vagina just clenched in fear
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
