I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
