Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
