i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
