my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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