She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
